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Hey Gnirl, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Hulk Asks: What do you call a clip of a macho guy that spreads online? A. A virile video!

Q. Why is Santa so jolly? A. He knows where all the naughty girls live!


Strip Club Jokes, Hooker Humor, Topless Bar Puns
Take off on whore-larious stripper puns, ho humor, call girl giggles, pole puns and brothel jokes.

Stripper Jokes, Prostitute Puns, Porn Star Humor
(Because Striptease Jokes, Topless Laughs, and Porn Star Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at the Bawdy House!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! X-rated jokes, skin flick laughs, No-tell Hotel humor and half naked puns ahead.
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Q. What do you call a pig that likes to take off her clothes? A. Bacon Strips!
Gnome Buddy, do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
Q. Why did a guy keep throwing monopoly money at the stripper? A. She kept putting fake boobs in his face!

A topless bar tried to have a Polka night, but all the accordianists kept getting hurt.

Did you hear about the singing stripper with augmented breasts? She had a great falsetto!

Q. How do guys at the strip club describe the dancer with the nicest rack?
A. Titillating.

Incredible Party Faux Pas: The Hulk once ate a whole cake before guests told him there was a stripper in there.

Q. What do the sun and a stripper have in common?
A. Both circle the pole.

Q. What is a Colorado Rainbow Trout's main goal?
A. To keep his daughter off the pole.

Q. How are a topless bar and a bra alike?
A. Both offer varying cup sizes.

Q. Which sci-fi gathering do busty blonde alien strippers attend?
A. Areola 51. Duh!

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. Why did Santa visit a strip club?
A. Because all the Ho Ho Hos got him in the holiday spirit!

Q. What do you call a ghostly stripper's boobies?
A. Paranormal en-titties.

Call Girl: Undress me with your words.
John: There's a spider in your bra.

Music Pick-Up Line: I don't play guitar, but I'll pluck your G string!
Q. Why did a rooster go to KFC? A. He wanted to see a chicken strip!
Your feet must hurt? You've been marching through my mind all day!

Q. Why don't pirates go to strip clubs?
A. Because they already know where all the good booty is!

Q. Which type of underwear do porno actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. Which award did the sleazy tabloid journalist get from his hooker?
A. The Pull It Sore Prize.

Sin Flick Groan of the Day: I watched my first porn movie today. Gosh, I was so young back then.

Q. Why is Museum a codeword for Strip Club to manly men?
A. 'Cause there's no touching.

Q. What does Santa call the hottest brothel at the North Pole?
A. The Work Shop!

Q. What did the dyslexic perv order at the X-rated cinema concession stand?
A. A large cockporn.

Q. Which topical medication do new adult film stars use?
A. Neosporn.

Q. Why did the Penthouse photographer shoot a porno film?
A. 'Cause he was used to picturing everybody naked.

Q. What does a leprechaun call it when he gets a free handjob?
A. A stroke of good luck!

Q. Why don't porno movies ever win Oscars?
A. 'Cause their plots are always full of holes.

Q. Which kind of porn are autumn gourds into?
A. Pump Kink.

Q. What do you call a promiscuous pony? A. A little whorse!
Is that a phone in your pocket? 'Cause that ass is calling me!
Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

Q. What do you call an Italian hooker?
A. A pasta-tute.

Q. What do you get if you put two nuns and a hooker on a football field?
A. Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q. Who was the hooker looking for at the all-night filling station?
A. The gas pimp.

Q. Which new hook up site is for one night stands?
A. Snatch dot come.

Q. Which porno series continuously runs in the haunted bawdy house?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Q. Which type of ghost haunts the strp joint?
A. The Pole-tergeist.

Q. What happens when you watch skeleton porn?
A. You end up with boner.

Q. Why did the blonde ghost try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big boobies.

Q. Why did the boss hire a former porn star?
A. He knew she had a lot of spunk in her.

Cell Phone Safety Tip of the Day: Never have phone sex without protection so you won't contract hearing aids.

Q. Which new dating site is a sister company to Hooters?
A. DD Harmony.

My Mechanic Blew My Mind: I never knew my mechanic was a psychic until he announced that I had blown a tranny in my car!

Q. What is Dracula's porn star name?
A. Vlad the Impaler.

Q. What would you call Batman after a sex change?
A. An Ex-man. OUCH!

Q. Where can drag queens go online to find a hot soulmate?
A. Flaming Match.

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite kind of porno flick?
A. Ghouls Gone Wild.

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!
Q. Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute? A. A prostitute because she can always wash her crack and sell it again!
Hey Gnirl, do you play pool? 'Cause I've got the balls and you've got the rack!

Q. Why did the doctor send the porn star home after her exam?
A. Because she was X-ray-ted.

Q. Why did the blonde vampire try out to be a porn star?
A. 'Cause she had really big fangs and thangs.

Horror Porn Tip of the Night: Graveyards are a great place to get laid, even while you're still alive!

Q. Why did the blonde hooker join the police force?
A. Because she wanted to work under covers.

Q. What happens if a psychiatrist and a prostitute spend the night together?
A. In the morning, each of them says, "$200 Please."

A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send the bill to her husband!

Q. What is the difference between a bottle of wine and a prostitute?
A. The older the bottle of wine, the more you have to pay for it.

Q. What is the slogan of the Denver hotel on Hooker St?
A. We Put the Ho in Hotel!

Q. What is the hot new slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. You've Rented the Room, Now Buy the Video!

Q. What is the slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. As Seen On COPS!

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel on E Colfax have in common?
A. No ball room.

Q. What's the best part of urban gardening along East Colfax Avenue?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.

Q. How are a Colorado weatherman and a ski area hooker alike?
A. Both can only estimate how many inches they'll get, or how long it will last.

Q. What did the prostitute say to her vampire date?
A. You suck less than the others.

Q. Why does Santa grow tomatoes during the his off season?
A. He likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: If I dress up as Santa, will you be my Ho?

Q. Why did Santa visit a brothel to get in the holiday spirit?
A. Because of all the Ho Ho Hos!

Q. Where do billionaires go to fool around?
A. Estate of affairs.

Q. Why did Santa send his immodest daughter to college in Kansas?
A. To keep her off the North Pole.

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